The Martinez Bros.
07 February 2007 Filed in:
Lie-ographies
Whenever I look
back on the three Martinez Brothers, I think first of the
mustachioed Gordon, then the dapper "Jangles," and finally of the
mustachioed Gordon again. I can never remember the third
one.
Gordon, who inherited his father's mustachios on the death of his father's mustachios, was the first of the three brothers born and yet somehow, strangely, also the last to be born. That's why I can't remember the third brother. There were only two boys, but Gordon was born twice. In later life, he became a fireman, with the specialty of running back into a burning house to rescue a baby. He claims this is what he did, as an infant, with his younger (and older) brother "Jangles." As his mother's womb was actually on fire, due to a mishap in the delivery room, this view of Gordon's is as likely as any other.
His younger (and older) brother "Jangles" always felt overshadowed (and undershadowed) by his older (and younger) brother. Certain that he could never live up to his parents' expectations, "Jangles" set about an intense program to lower his parents' expectations.
Tragically, by succeeding in this so thoroughly, they were impressed and he actually raised their expectations again. He was right back where he started, except thirty-nine years old.
When he joined forces with his brother, "Jangles" finally felt complete. Billing themselves as 'Gordon and "Jangles": The Martinez Trio,' they toured what would later become the Oklahoma Territory with their homespun humor and homespun wool. They eventually dropped the humor and wool from the act and focused entirely on homespun. At first they sold homespun homespun, but popularity soon drove them to manufactured homespun.
It was the eve of the Industrial Revolution, and the great Northern factories belched black smoke into the cold Pennyslvania air. A nine-year-old orphan, Jackie Seawall had already spent half his young life milling factory-made homespun for the likes of the Martinez Trio and the hordes of slavish imitators cashing in on their popularity. Because most of the trios actually consisted of three people, the need for cheap, ready-made homespun was insatiable, and, for little Jackie, the opportunities seemed boundless. But was it true opportunity, or fickle illusion disguised as opportunity in the disguise of fickle illusion?