My Enemy, My Friend
20 April 2007
Three weeks after the war started,
Henderson volunteered. He was just one of thousands who
volunteered, so he wasn't really needed. Which is why he
volunteered to be an enemy.
It wasn't easy being an enemy, surrounded by one-time friends who now despised him. Of course they weren't allowed to harm him physically in any way until they'd gotten through bootcamp and shipped out.
The training was rigorous. Uncle Sam didn't want his boys fighting some weak, under-trained enemy, so Sarge was particularly tough on Henderson.
Of course, a soldier is just a man with a gun until he truly believes in his cause, so Henderson underwent gruelling sessions learning to despise his friends.
First was an all-day work-out in which fellow soldiers taunted him with embarrassing childhood nicknames. That night, they formed a paddling machine to which Henderson was forced to submit. Finally, the soldiers all took turns dating his old girlfriend.
Almost unnoticeably, Henderson metamorphosed into a superb enemy. Well-trained, filled with a bitter hatred, champing at the bit to get away from the men he was training with so he could meet up with with the men he’d been training with--on the field of battle.
The only thing he lacked was a uniform. It’s one thing to train an enemy into a respectable opponent, but another thing to supply his clothes. Thus Henderson was faced with the ignominy of reporting for enemy duty dressed as the enemy.
This served him well in the long run. Dressed as an enemy of the enemy, he was mistaken by his enemy as a friend. Surrounded by friends, Henderson remembered where his true loyalties were, and began to fight the enemy, until he remembered that it was these "friends" who had trained him as an enemy, and what kind of friends were those?
Henderson is remembered today by a monument on the border of the two nations he fought both for and against.
It wasn't easy being an enemy, surrounded by one-time friends who now despised him. Of course they weren't allowed to harm him physically in any way until they'd gotten through bootcamp and shipped out.
The training was rigorous. Uncle Sam didn't want his boys fighting some weak, under-trained enemy, so Sarge was particularly tough on Henderson.
Of course, a soldier is just a man with a gun until he truly believes in his cause, so Henderson underwent gruelling sessions learning to despise his friends.
First was an all-day work-out in which fellow soldiers taunted him with embarrassing childhood nicknames. That night, they formed a paddling machine to which Henderson was forced to submit. Finally, the soldiers all took turns dating his old girlfriend.
Almost unnoticeably, Henderson metamorphosed into a superb enemy. Well-trained, filled with a bitter hatred, champing at the bit to get away from the men he was training with so he could meet up with with the men he’d been training with--on the field of battle.
The only thing he lacked was a uniform. It’s one thing to train an enemy into a respectable opponent, but another thing to supply his clothes. Thus Henderson was faced with the ignominy of reporting for enemy duty dressed as the enemy.
This served him well in the long run. Dressed as an enemy of the enemy, he was mistaken by his enemy as a friend. Surrounded by friends, Henderson remembered where his true loyalties were, and began to fight the enemy, until he remembered that it was these "friends" who had trained him as an enemy, and what kind of friends were those?
Henderson is remembered today by a monument on the border of the two nations he fought both for and against.
Celsius vs. Fahrenheit, a video to watch
10 April 2007
Back in the
olden days, your InAccuFacts researcher belonged to a group of
researchers called Houseful of Honkeys. We made several short
videos in the course of our live, performed encylopedia, but this
was the only one with content that meets the InAccuFacts criteria
of being almost totally inaccurate.
About the War
08 February 2007
As the war drew to a close, the
pessimist would have, with good cause, seen the glass half empty,
while the somnambulist would not have seen the glass at all,
walking right past it in his sleepy netherworld.
It was into this latter camp that Little Jackie Sewall fell, and, indeed, falling into camps was his speciality. Nothing surprised "Jerry" more than the unexpected arrival of an enemy sleepwalker!
Of course after several surprise attacks, the Germans developed their own sleepwalkers, but the sleep state was often induced by a local stage hypnotist, leaving the soldier at huge risk of discovery when he began squawking like a chicken.
Even more efficient than Sewall, was Madam Duranda, a Gypsy woman fighting for the American cause. Her "out of body" experiences allowed her to spy on the enemy from an unseen position hovering in a cloud of invisible light particles. She brought back many valuable secrets, including, "A loved one is trying to contact you," and "You have lost something; something...blue?"
But it was Jerry who lost something blue in the end, and that blue thing was called the War.
It was into this latter camp that Little Jackie Sewall fell, and, indeed, falling into camps was his speciality. Nothing surprised "Jerry" more than the unexpected arrival of an enemy sleepwalker!
Of course after several surprise attacks, the Germans developed their own sleepwalkers, but the sleep state was often induced by a local stage hypnotist, leaving the soldier at huge risk of discovery when he began squawking like a chicken.
Even more efficient than Sewall, was Madam Duranda, a Gypsy woman fighting for the American cause. Her "out of body" experiences allowed her to spy on the enemy from an unseen position hovering in a cloud of invisible light particles. She brought back many valuable secrets, including, "A loved one is trying to contact you," and "You have lost something; something...blue?"
But it was Jerry who lost something blue in the end, and that blue thing was called the War.